How to Throw a Succession-Finale Party

December 01, 2024

This is how you throw a Succession finale party good enough to earn a kiss from Daddy.

Back in October, I threw a Succession season-three-premiere party … and swiftly got roasted by stan accounts everywhere.

@wack_worm got the s’mores on the floor ice cream, and yes these are coasters @maria_ro_so nabbed from the premiere pic.twitter.com/95zEvvq6GN

— Rebecca 'Bronco Henry' Alter (@ralter) October 18, 2021

This made me irrationally angry https://t.co/JP21VAtley

— Hennis C (@SinnedColon) October 21, 2021

how come white people can't just enjoy something without being super weird about it https://t.co/EAC8aJEjnu

— Mathieu (@WongIsRight) October 18, 2021

But as Kendall proved with “Good Tweet Bad Tweet,” even bad tweets are at the very least buzz, so I took this roasting as a sign that something went right. We had Tomlettes and Gregs. We had Boar on the Floor (charcuterie meats). We had a drinking game that stayed up on our living-room wall for weeks. (I was shut down when I suggested we take a drink every time someone says “Uh-huh” — people would have died.) So I feel very qualified when I say that not only should you throw your own Succession-finale party this Sunday, I’ll show you how. I staged one myself last week for “Chiantishire,” and I promise it’s a good idea. Because you can’t spell “Succession finale party” without “success.”

Step 1: Make sure everyone is boosted and/or tested

This isn’t a Morning Show finale party; coronavirus shouldn’t factor into it. Tell your guests to get into their big-boy booster seats or at the very least spring for a rapid test. Implement a rainbow-wristband system if you have to, VIP-treehouse style.

Step 2: Ground rules

Before the party can really go nut-nut, you need to lay out some rules. Like no one can touch the “All Bangers” playlist, coat check is mandatory …

… and under no circumstances can you feed the rabbit some bagel.

Step 3: Décor

Kendall’s birthday party gave us so much to work with. Starting, of course, with a walk-through representation of his mother’s vagina. We recommend adorning your hallway with pink tablecloths and balloons.

Our social-media editor Wolfgang in Kendall’s mom’s bleep.

If you can’t find real humans to fill your Compliment Tunnel (supply chain! Am I right?), handwritten compliments work fine.

Our social-media editor Wolfgang in the compliment tunnel.

And of course, what would a Succession party be without a Waystar Royco step-and-repeat?

All it’s missing is a Getty watermark.

If you already have a Christmas tree set up and you’re worried it’s going to clash with your curated soulless-billionaire aesthetic, just say it’s Tom. It’s tall, jolly, and you can hang your crimes on it.

tom wambsgans hbo succession edit fancam matthew macfadyen pic.twitter.com/tORpVo5h2u

— mads 📁 (@mizumvnos) November 25, 2021

If you really want to channel the energy of the shareholder’s meeting, buy 200 folding chairs and set them up while Nicholas Britell music plays stressfully. You can also install a life-size cutout of Kieran Culkin in your bathroom, because that seems to be where he does all his business dealings.

Step 4: Games!

What would a Succession party be without some fun and games? I personally tried to keep my references to season three, but a rousing game of “Boar on the Floor” or family baseball is always welcome. One time, pre-pandemic, I co-hosted a Succession-themed murder mystery. You can also play “Good Tweet Bad Tweet” with any brave party guests willing to let everyone scroll through their mentions.

kendall yelling bad tweet pic.twitter.com/wM0ln8f9RA

— succession clips and reaction videos (@successionreact) November 2, 2021

Or rifle through the presents under your aforementioned Christmas tree Tom for the hidden bunny-wrapping-paper present. Whoever accidentally finds the watch loses.

You can also play a game called “Where’s Marcia?” in honor of everyone’s favorite AWOL character this season. Tell arriving guests that there’s a picture of Marcia hidden somewhere in the apartment and whoever finds her gets a prize. It’s sort of like the Passover tradition of the afikomen but for beloved actress Hiam Abbass. Sadly, in my instance, everyone forgot to search for Marcia, and I forgot where I put her. Fitting.

Step 5: Drinks

Because you’re gonna need something to take the edge off when you’re watching this finale. If you have access to a) an outdoor space and b) fire, stage the camping trip that Connor took his younger siblings on because Logan couldn’t be bothered. Here is where you can serve a warm winter drink.

everyone who says kendall is eldest sister coded did not watch this scene pic.twitter.com/qOEq9AcnUi

— jules (@julesisjohnson) December 9, 2021

Back inside, there are so many options for bevs: Cheap prosecco in honor of the Roys’ soon-to-be stepdad, sad pool beer, Tom and Shiv’s disgusting Germanic wine, and Tom’s prison-toilet wine (don’t forget to burp it).

Whoever remembers to bring Logan a Coca-Cola gets bonus points that count toward a future presidential run.

Here you go, sir.

Step 6: Food

Because you don’t want anyone to end up hungry and cranky like Frank in the private-jet airport, you need eats, and lots of them. Try …

Shame sponge cake:

Realizing how like 50% of this Succession party is just Tom-themed.

Greggplant pasta alla nonna, a.k.a. “privacy, pussy, pasta”:

Tom’s diner hash browns with a glass of room-temperature water:

And, of course, some Greenpeace-appeasing crudité, purchased with Greg’s inheritance:

We need more references to climate action in pop culture. We are all in this together! #succession #ClimateCrisis

>>> https://t.co/wVwA8D0diq pic.twitter.com/GNRKJ2dZgk

— Greenpeace (@Greenpeace) November 30, 2021

If you really want to go all-out, serve Josh Aaronson’s seaside clambake. Put the mussel on everyone.

Step 7: Entertainment

Okay, so this is just the episode itself. But hey, maybe Tiny Wu-Tang is available to play your party.

Step 8: Afterparty

If everyone’s up for it, fuck off to Nicholas Braun’s bar Ray’s on the Lower East Side. Hold a wake for the character who dies. Pay out if you were taking bets.

And that’s it! You did it! That’s how you throw a Succession-finale party good enough to earn a kiss from Daddy.